Yes. Its’ what I do.
I do things. I create things. I try things. Take a risk. A shot. A gamble. Expose myself to critics. Whatever.
Actually, if I’m being bluntly honest, it doesn’t really phase me. All of it. Certainly, not anymore.
I gather that maybe I’m wired a bit different. For the most part, I gave up any concern I had about a decade or so ago. Gave up any concern for wide acceptance.
My late father once told me that I was a bit odd. He further went on to say that I ‘wasn’t for everyone.’ Kind of an ‘acquired taste’. And he lamented how powerful this fact was if I came to grips with it.
The question is then… did I come to grips with it? No idea. Not a clue.
I do know that I really don’t give a shit about my likeability quotient. Actually, I don’t even give it a passing thought any longer.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I want and enjoy friendships. I value them. I value my reputation with my clients and my reputation at my chosen craft. Whether that be as a Real Estate Agent, Podcast Show Host, Guitarist, etc. And of course, more importantly, as a Husband, Father & Friend. I value those relationships and the opinions of those people as to my work for them and/or my connection to them. Naturally.
But gaining wide acceptance? I honestly can’t be bothered. Not any longer. And so, I create. Selfishly, at this point. I create primarily to make myself happy. If acceptance is gained on a small or large basis – great. And so be it. But it’s not my purpose. The ‘inner spark’ does not come from any place connected with acceptance. Not any longer.
Reflecting back over the past decades, it worked out. We did OK. Folks were happy. Our reputation appeared solid.
While never intimidated by risk – I believe I would have done more. Taken more creative risks. Maybe started another guitar brand. An instrument mfg company. Done more branding. More lines of clothing. Who knows what else.
The pull of acceptance. The acceptance of others. It held me back. Really held me back.
With life experience comes clarity. Shame really. Shame to have this clarity, this much emotional freedom, this much lack of fear – so late in life.
Best I start crackin’.